I have missed you my friend. Has it really been nearly a month since our last encounter? I owe you an apology for using you only for practical purposes lately. Oh how I’ve longed for our deep and meaningful conversations!
Yes, I’m referring to my writing. I typically write a blog post once a week, but have been so busy that I haven’t had a chance to even think about writing, much less to actually write! Wait, isn’t that what everybody says about everything? Aren’t we all just too busy?
God has blessed our family recently with a new job for me. It’s a wonderful position with a lot of potential and opportunity. It’s nothing I planned, it just “fell into my lap,” which is code for “God really came through!”
I spent the majority of my thirties as a working mom. I thought I pulled off a pretty good balancing act. You would have thought that with each promotion I felt more fulfilled. In some ways I did, but deep inside my heart I felt empty and dark. I craved purpose in my life. My drive to succeed was fueled by an aching for approval and recognition.
I remember saying I could never be a stay at home mom, nor would I want to be. “I need to have my own identity” I would fiercely proclaim. All the while, the pangs of mother guilt continued to plague me.
Sometimes in life, change has to be forced on you. I was laid off from a career I spent eight years building. This came a year after my husband was laid off from a fifteen year career in the same company. But wait, there’s more…a year after I was laid off, he was laid off again. That makes three lay offs in three years.
Even though this seemed to be a series of unfortunate events, it was really a significant turning point that changed my life. Have you ever been there? Have you ever been at a crossroads in your life?
I wasn’t a Christian when I lost my job. I was so hungry for real meaning and healing, but didn’t know where to find it. God was there, waiting for me to reach out to Him. It took an identity crisis for me to get it.
You probably know the rest of my story, or at least many parts of it if you have been following my blog. God is doing a mighty work in me! He is dramatically changing who I am. I’m no longer defined by my accomplishments, failures, looks, image or past. I’m saved by my faith in Jesus, and defined by God’s love and purpose for my life.
So, getting back to my new job. I’ve spent the past three years growing. Growing in my relationship with Jesus. Growing as a wife. Growing as a mom. Growing as a disciple. Growing as a leader. When I was offered the promotion, I considered turning it down. Thoughts of the old life tumbled in my brain; the racing from one thing to the next, the words “hurry up” never far from my lips. I was afraid I would fall into old habits. Thank the Lord, I didn’t have to take these thoughts too far. He offered me a flex schedule.
I’m back in the workforce, but this time I know my priorities. God and family first! I’m not willing to sacrifice who and what I was made for. I’m taking it one step at a time and letting God lead me. I pray I don’t get lured into the familiar trap of busyness. The enemy loves to see us overwhelmed with our schedules.
I encourage you to stop and listen; He is there waiting to give you His peace.
The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14